A mother's love and the painful road of letting go
Sharing the truth about loving my son Evan, navigating severe mental health struggles, and finding the strength to choose safety when silence is the hardest decision a parent can make.
Fighting for answers and care
From the beginning, my relationship with Evan was marked by an unrelenting fight to get him the mental health support and intervention he desperately needed. As a mother, you advocate with every ounce of your being, knocking on every door, hoping that resources, compassion, and professional care will bring peace to your child's inner turmoil.
When love meets violence
Over time, the journey took a heartbreaking turn. Despite tireless efforts and unconditional love, Evan began turning violent toward me. Confronting the reality that the child you fought so hard to protect has become a danger to your home is a profound grief that few words can truly capture.
Choosing safety through silence
My love for Evan has never stopped, yet for my safety and my daughter's safety, I had to make the agonizing choice to cut off contact. To any parent facing this unimaginable reality: sometimes walking away is both the best and the worst decision you will ever make, but choosing self-preservation and protection does not mean your love ever failed.
A more in depth look into the struggle of Evan
Evan was born in 2007 and when he was 10 months old his bio father Evan Russell Taylor had choked him with his apron from work while I was at the OB appointment when I was pregnant with our daughter Elektra. I turned him into the cops and CPS ended up taking both him and his older sister into foster care and Elektra 4 days after she was born. It took me 2 years to get them back. To this day his father has never faced any charges for trying to kill our son. My children and I went through our troubles like any single mom does. When Evan was 2 is when his mental health issue start. First with him banging his head on a shelf to the point of a concussion. At this point the doctors diagnosed him with ODD and put him on medication. Fast forward to him being 5.5 years old is when he head butted Elektra in her ribs to the point she stopped breathing for a few seconds and ended up with bruised ribs and on liquid vicodin. The doctors placed Evan into a residential behavioral treatment program where he stayed for 6 months. Evan would be in and out of acute week stays in psych wards throughout his whole childhood. In 2016 he was rapped by a theraputic transporter while being transported from school to therapy. This man has never been charged for rapping mu son either. That same year Evan choked Elektra with a car seat belt which prompted another residential stay. This time he was diagnosed with PTSD from being rapped. In 2019 he was diagnosed with schizophernia with explosive disorder. This is when things started getting worse. Evan started stealing, running off, not listening to anything at all. In 2023 is when he landed in juvenile detention for the first time gaining his first felony for threatening to kill me over me changing the WI-FI password because I had been asking him to clean his room for 6 months without him doing it at all. He spent at least a year there and was on probation when he got out. In 2025 he ened up back in juvenile detention because he caused over $2,000 dollars of damage in my house and hit a cop in the process over me not allowing him to get his 16 year old girlfriend pregnant. He was order to go to YRTC until he turned 19 but got out for good behavior. When he got out he was calling me and it seemed like he was doing great but, then he started not taking his medication again and started acting horrible again. My daughters friend made a joke on one of his pictures on IG and he went off and then started being verbally abusive towards her again so, I had to make the decision to tell him to not contact us again until he pulls his head out of his butt and can start not being violent towards us in anyway.